My Apology

Well, let me just start by giving my apology....an apology.

For years, I was quick to place the blame.

Ready to be the first to say, men are all the same

I did it to myself...

I apologize, not because there isn't some validity in that phrase,

But it wasn't because of all, but the type that I have engaged

And ended up welcoming myself when I really overstayed.

Yes, I did it to myself...

The red flags were blaring, I saw them

It even made me shutter

But I felt in my heart,

Maybe if I can just love him like no other (sigh)

Listen, I was compelled to want to help the 'potential' that you adorned

Neverminded the slights

The glimpses of disrespect that I overlooked early on

I did it to myself...

As I'm pouring into you my energy, my time

My body, my respect, my value

It's become faded

So engulfed in not wanting to start over

For times sake left me completely jaded

Weeks turned into months, months turned into years

I lost myself in my own tears and frustration

Because I found myself in love

With love's misrepresentation

I did it to myself...

Now fellas, you aren't totally off the hook just yet

Because even though I see my flaws

You stepped willingly into a position to fulfill an order

That you couldn't admit was too tall

But everyone knows that pride does indeed comes before the fall

So let me, again, apologize for allowing my worth

To rest on shoulders that couldn't even carry his own

Allowing the disrespect & accountability to drown and diminish

So much now I have to start what you couldn't finish

But nevertheless, I did it to myself...

So I sincerely and deeply apologize for not dealing with my bags sooner

So that Id have time to grab my mirror and behold that beautiful image

Reflecting back at myself, saying to myself:

You are worth more that accepting anything less

Than the love you give Yourself....first

(…and I will continue to Do this For Myself)